I have an eight year old son that struggles with behavioral issues and focusing. We began to see the signs at the tender age of four. The teacher began to complain about him “raging” after he lost focus and was told to stop whatever he was doing. The phones were ringing all day, every day. The principle stated that my son had a “Doctor Jekyll & Mr. Hyde” personality. They would say that he would have a tantrum, blackout, and then act as if nothing happened. He advised to get him “checked out”. He was suspended for three days. I spoke with his pediatrician about the schools concerns. She then referred me to a child psychiatrist. We met the psychiatrist and he asked questions about his behavior at home, any trauma, and things happening at school. The following week, he was kicked out of a Pre-Kindergarten program. The school’s secretary stated, “Your son is not welcomed back to this school.”
We have a new school, a new environment, and a new beginning. He is now in Kindergarten and doing well for a few days. Now the crap has hit the fan. He is cursing, defiant, walking out of class, throwing objects (shoes, chairs, books, and pencils), and complaining about the class being too loud. Yes, you read this right. So, after multiple suspensions, I asked how we can keep him in school to get an education. They say, “You have to shadow him.” What is that? Shadowing is when a parent or family member is required to stay with the child during school hours. It can be a few hours, half a day, or full day. Say What?!!!! Okay. We complete the first 100 days of school and his behavior is better. During the last 2 weeks of school, the bad behavior is back. I am emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted. Now we are in the first grade. We had an awesome beginning of the year. His behavior began to start again around Christmas break. Winter break is over and my son’s behavior has returned and it seems worse. The assistant principle called a meeting with my mom, husband, me, and the school counselor. We were told that no of the teachers wanted my son in their class. The principle reminded me that he can go to another school. She began to tell me he has rage issues and I need to do something about it. She also made me aware that she called the previous and they discussed the behavior. She spoke about how bad the principle said the situation was. Then she threatened to call the Department of Family Children Services and report me. Devastation hits the house! We now have insurance through my job and we have a new psychiatrist and a psychologist. They would like to see the paperwork from the school and previous psychiatrist. We are finally getting somewhere. We finally got a diagnosis. He is Severe ADHD with Impulse Control Disorder.
“My child is not bad!”
I press through the heartache, denial, negativity, depression, and everything that come with hearing bad news. Though all of the signs are there, I begin to think about all of the things that my child has been through or seen. I began to listen to others that say, “He is just bad.” I don’t even know what this is and why did it have to be my son. This is a child that wasn’t even supposed to be here. From the age of 16, you are told that you will never have children and this happens. I questioned God and asked him, “Why did my miracle have to be flawed.”
God said, “I trust you with him. You have all you need to take care of him. He will be ok.” It was time to become knowledgeable about the diagnosis and open my mouth. They say, “Close mouths don’t get fed.” When I began to share my situation, I found that were many mothers just like me. I found out that there were women my mother’s age that had the same problem. Their adult children were diagnosed within the last 4 years or so. I know now that I am not alone. I find comfort in this scripture: Psalm 107:2, “Let the redeemed of the Lord say so (tell their story NIV), whom he hath redeemed from the hands of the enemy.” We overcome every day and you will too!
Written by Guest Blogger, Lakesia Tyson.
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