Spring Cleaning: Reevaluating Your Real Friendships vs Your Social Media “Friendships”

real-friendships-vs-social-media-friendships

Let’s talk about spring cleaning. Spring cleaning your personal space & your personal atmosphere meaning your friendships.  I have been noticing lately that social media has made us lazy when it comes to maintaining relationships whether it is family or friends.   We have gotten to the point where we feel that just checking a person’s page keeps us in the know.  Eventually, you start to question the substance of each of your friendships.

This is what I am experiencing now at the age 31.   I noticed that I have 165 contacts in my phone and close to 500 or more friends on social media yet I only actually speak to the same 10-15 people on a regular basis.  At  this point I question the validity or substance of some of the people in my life.   I know that we are all busy with our day to day lives, however, we make time for what we want to and who we want to.  So, I’ve decided to re evaluate my real friendships vs. my social media “friendships”.  I will finally cut ties with a lot of things and a lot of people especially those who don’t match my efforts.  Social Media friendships can be  can be draining. I find myself constantly wanting to impress others or even maintaining relationships due to keeping up with appearances and I realize that I just can’t anymore. I have better things to focus on, mainly putting myself first and maintaining my own inner happiness. I consider this a soul cleaning which is similar to a traditional spring cleaning.

“…some friends were here for the good times, some were there to teach you a lesson in life”

As I’m on this ongoing womanhood transition, I realize a few things that my momma and women that I look up to have always tried to tell me and that is:  everyone you come in contact with are not meant to be in your life for a lifetime; some are here for a reason and some are here for a season. When you are younger you think that everyone you meet will be your friends forever….. Flash forward to years later and you find that you will only link up for events (mainly around homecoming) or keep up with each other through social media.   You will find that your lives will take different paths and that the same individuals that you thought would be friends forever stray away when you become an adult. Now my momma’s words ring true, some friends were here for the good times, some were there to teach you a lesson in life that will forever stay with you, some left soon as the struggles of adulthood set in and others  taught you the value of true friendship.

A dear friend of mine told me that a real friend remains through the good and bad, you may not communicate every day or even every month but when you do catch up it’s as if you never left off.  

I have been through some things and I have gotten older and wiser.  I used to be that girl who made sure to support and stay in touch with everyone, now as an adult I probably stay in touch with only 5-10 people. Some of  them anchor me as I anchor them. Some I have known all my life and reconnect with as if I never left and others I met throughout my formative time in my 20’s.

As I look at those 165 contacts in my phone and the 550 people on my social media lists I smile at the good times I may have had with some and nicely delete the ones who will do nothing for my life.  I know we had some good times but where I’m going they can’t come.  

I encourage you to take the time to reevaluate the people in your circles. Put the social media away, put the phone down and really think of who your real friends are. Once you identify these individuals, go through and evaluate who is really worth keeping and let the others go. Sometimes in order to receive our blessings, we have to shed the dead weight and excess, just like a tree has to shed its leaves we have to shed people.

Are you making any changes to Spring clean your friends lists AND friendships?

Written by Guest Blogger, Lawana Ross.

We are now accepting Guest Bloggers at The Sistah Cafe. If you are interested please submit your post to: TheSistahCafe@gmail.com

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