When I think about teenagers having kids these days I don’t think its as big of a deal as it was when my mother did it back in the 60’s. My mother had me at the tender age of 17 and somehow she still managed to raise and nurture me and my sister using the wisdom of a grown woman. She wasn’t allowed to sit back and relax while my grandmother raised us, no she was forced to drop out of school at the age of 16 and marry my father.
Under extremely abusive circumstances, at his cruel hand, she was still able to smile sweetly at us through black eyes and swollen lips every morning as she sent us off to school. I remember the night she packed us both up and left him. I remember running out into the night and seeing my grandmother waiting for us in her car. I remember that we were in a hurry. I was 10 years old and already I had seen more than most should at my age.
But most importantly she taught us how to love ourselves and to forgive.
Life after we left my father was a struggle life, but it was a happy life. I remember my mother always worked very hard to provide for us and protect us. She sacrificed plenty so that my sister and I could have what she didn’t. She set an example for her girls not by just talking, but by doing. Everything she did, she did with pride. She stood on the bus stop with pride. She kept our tiny little apartment that we lived in very neat. She made sure that we went to church every Sunday and that both of her kids graduated high school and went to college. She showed us how to be respectable women. But most importantly she taught us how to love ourselves and to forgive. I still struggle with forgiveness to this day but I follow her lead. It is because of her that I am effectively able to deal with most things in my life. It was her strength that saved me. When I hear her say, “Do you, Ms. Stace!” Even as a grown woman, I am filled with pride and validation. She still and always has been my biggest cheerleader.
One year on Mother’s Day, I tricked my mother into thinking that I was going to make a YouTube video about her natural hair. Once I got her in front of the camera I thanked her for all that she is to me and her reaction was priceless. You can view that video here.
When I think about how immature I was at the age of 17 I still have no idea how she did it. How she dealt with my father and how she held it all together for us like she did at such a young age. I start my day EVERY day by speaking to my mother on the phone. Not a day goes by that I don’t hear her voice. She is part of the fabric which is my being. I can’t imagine life without her. I am thankful every day that my mother is still alive and that my daughter and I can enjoy her together. As I watch her age I am reminded of all of the sacrifices that she made for me and my sister and I am eternally grateful. I only hope that I can be the kind of mother that she was to me to my own daughter. I celebrate my mother every day and I make sure to let her know how much I appreciate her. (I know that she is reading this right now… and crying) I Love You Mom!
Are you or are were you raised by a single mother?
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