There has been much discussion in the media recently due two celebrity suicides and the same old causes popped up, one was marital problems and the other was prior drug use. We can never really know why a person would take their own life, but depression always has something to do with it. There are many things that can bring on depression. We often hear about things like financial issues, marriage drama, and family situations, etc being the problems. When it comes to the causes of depression the normal everyday pressures of life come to mind also, like hustling a little too hard, not eating right and not getting enough exercise or sleep. Ok, those are all things that are really easy to understand and very viable. But one illness that we rarely hear about as a cause for depression is Menopause. Until last year I had no idea that Menopause Induced Depression was a thing. In a previous post I spoke to you about how hard I was hit when a condition called Menopause took over my body and my life. In that post I listed specific things that I experienced and Depression was one of those things. I can’t give specific clinical advice because I am not a doctor but I will tell you what I experienced.
Menopause Induced Depression
It started about a year and a half ago. I became very moody, extremely easily aggravated and testy. Well, I’m a feisty Leo Woman so we all, my family and friends, chalked it up to that. But this was different and I wasnt my normal happy go lucky and bossy-confrontational self. Added to my normal character flaws were uncontrollable crying, debilitating sadness (the blues), loss of confidence and sleep. I was functioning, but on a very low level. No longer was I giving it all in my business or my marriage. It was like the fire went out. I was snapping at the smallest infractions and even cursing out and cutting off friends.
It was more than just mood swings
There was nothing that my husband nor my momma could do to console me during these times. The feelings would come and they would go. My family was walking around on eggshells and I was chopping off relationships left and right. I experienced complete despair, feeling that no one loved me, even though I have the most loving family in the world. I was spending entire nights awake while my mind constructed thick cobwebs in my brain. I wasn’t thinking or dealing with anything properly. I finally went to the doctor to be tested and to talk about what was going on. She immediately diagnosed me with Menopause Induced depression. She explained that the hormone estrogen had not been producing like normal, due to the menopause, and that it had caused a hormonal imbalance that messed with my neural endorphins (aka took my happy away) Since this had been going on for more than a year, and I was not able to do Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), my doctor felt that it was severe enough that I needed medication to help make it right. She prescribed anti-depressants, but it was difficult for me to pick up the prescription. I mean how could I need anti-depressants? After all I wasn’t suicidal. I wasn’t even trying to kill my babies. I’M NOT CRAZY. I was just sad sometimes. Right? That’s all. We all know that there is a stigma attached to mental health in the Black community. Let’s just say that my culture took over and I was terrified about taking a medication.
The Medication
After much research on the medication itself and long hard thought. I finally began to take the prescribed anti-depressants and suddenly a light came back on. Not just any old light, but a light that made me see how tired I was, how stressed I was and how I lacked the ability to STOP working. I was handling my business, doing administrative work for my husbands AND taking care of our daughter and home. The medication really helped to open my eyes to ME. It made me more receptive to my needs. Now, I have the ability to know when I am tired and the mental energy to do something about it. I no longer miss meals to accommodate my family. I no longer allow myself to be a sounding board for needy friends. I no longer answer the phone after business hours and so much more. I got me to a place where I had to re evaluate my hustle so we put many businesses on the back burner to focus on just one. This was all within me, but I needed help to see it.
The Aftermath
Yes I lost a few friends. But I figure if they are gone now that they weren’t truly my friends to begin with and its not a real loss. I found out who my “ride or dies” were. I found out who was loyal and who was just there for the ride. I found out who sees me only when they think I’m winning and those who see me always. For those who bailed I say good riddance and for those who stuck around and reached out and said, “Hey sis…” I thank God for them daily (s/o to Valerie, Turkesha, Pamela)! My loving and patient husband supports me no matter what and I have a great family who loves me unconditionally. For that I am eternally blessed.
I am focusing more on me these days and doing things that bring me joy, getting lots of rest, spending tons of time with family and myself. When I hit 50 in a couple of months I want to be in a good place mentally and physically or at least be on my way.
The bottom line is this, we all need to get in tune with ourselves so that we can be aware when something is wrong and SEEK HELP. Remember that you are NEVER alone. If you think you can’t afford to, think again, because their are agencies in each state that can help you. According to PsychCentral.com you can call 1-800-826-3632 for help with Depression. You can also call a friend. Also make sure you are checking on YOUR friends, and not just the strong ones either. If you feel that someone is down, lift them up. Be their light until they can shine their own. It was hard for me to write this piece but I realize that sharing my story could help someone and I hope it does.
Please share this with anyone that you think it may help. Until next time. Prayers Up <3
Thanks for reading.
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