This post is part of Loving in the Grown Zone Blog Tour which I am delighted to be a part of along with many other inspiring bloggers across the globe. To learn more and to join us as we change the conversation about healthy love, CLICK HERE!
My first relationship with a man was with my father. He wasn’t a nice man and he did not treat my mother very well. I had no idea what a healthy relationship looked or felt like. My 1st love was an insecure, troubled bastard with sex issues and also a complete loser who had a severely distorted idea of what love meant. Needless to say this left me with a black spot on my heart for all men and relationships with them in general. In my mind there was no such thing as real love and trust. And then I met my husband. Before we got married he was merely an ex boyfriend who would not go away. We dated briefly and I wasn’t ready for anything more at that time but that never mattered to him. He chased me off and on for the next 11 years after our first encounter with one another. Proposing occasionally, visiting sporadically, checking on me constantly. It seemed like no matter where I got in life, there he would be with a friendly smile and a helping hand. But I still didnt trust him. It took more than just kind gestures to change my mind but he was persistent. He was patient. He didnt lie to me or try to hurt me. He never tried to change me. Having grown up in church I began to think of this Bible passage whenever I thought about him:
1 Corinthians 13:4-13 English Standard Version (ESV)
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[a] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 butwhen the perfect comes, the partial will passaway. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
And with that our love became viable and real. We just celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary and I have never looked back. He changed my mind about what real love is and my heart is now open to receive it.
Zara D. Green and Alfred Edmond Jr. are co-principals of A2Z Personal Growth Enterprises, producer of The Grown Zone discussion series and related media properties. The couple leads sessions on personal growth, self-love and resiliency, healthy relationships and “Grown” decision-making via online and live events across the country. They know this book is changing the conversation about healthy love. You can grab your copy HERE.
