We all remember that episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta where Kandi’s new husband Todd basically told her that her night bonnet was a turn off and that it may be the reason why they aren’t having more sex. As a Black woman and specifically a Black woman with natural hair I found this highly offensive but who cares? Its just reality TV. right? Well, I am sad to report that this is not the first time I have heard this from a Black man. Yes its true, many Black men feel this way and have openly expressed their feelings about it. Lucky for me I am married to an evolved Black man who understands that I am just trying to protect my hair from breakage at night and who sees my sexy no matter what I rock. But to those who don’t see it this way, here are my 7 reasons why Black Men Need to STFU about our Night Scarves/Bonnets
Haven’t we been through enough?
It’s hard enough being a Black woman in this day and age without having to come home to a petty ass man who is complaining about a bonnet but has nothing to say when we are the caregivers and the bread winners, which we absolutely are a lot of the times!
We give birth to your big head babies
And sometimes we have to raise them alone and without your support
Maybe the scarf is not the issue, maybe your manhood is.
Its called erectile dysfunction. Google it. Then tell me about my bonnet.
I bet your mama wears a scarf.
You know she does. Good thing your dad didn’t have a problem with it.
Grow up.
Just do it. Grow up and realize that as grown men and women there is maintenance that is necessary in order to stay looking good. The bonnet/scarf is one of those things. You cover your BBQ grill to protect it don’t you?
Think about your daughters.
Hope and pray she doesn’t marry a man that values her based on how she looks we she is ready for bed.
Stop making Black women feel like we have to change for you.
Whether you are joking or not please realize that when you mock us you are mocking your own daughters and your mothers. Sistah’s take criticism from every race as it is, we don’t need it from our men too.
It’s like this for us and our hair…
If wear a weave… we are fake.
If we wear it natural… we are not professional.
If we wear locs… we smoke weed
If we relax it… we hate ourselves.
…and now we cant even protect it while we sleep. Where does it end? What we need from you is support. We need your acceptance and unconditional love. Leave us and our bonnets/scarves alone.
Do you wear a bonnet or scarf to bed? How does your mate feel about it?
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